There’s this phenomenon with creative types where they need to keep themselves going.  That’s to say, when everything around them is crushing or there’s little to be excited or have faith in but something keeps them going.  Fuels them.

I’ll explain what I mean in the form of a story:
Nearly a year ago, I finally graduated from college.  When I left, I was flown out to Nashville by Devon and Golriz of the fantastic site SoulPancake.com to work on content and help them manage their volunteer work force.  While there, I saw Dev’s drive and passion for the site.  He stayed up until two in the morning to make sure work was edited and ready for release the next day and pushed himself to wake up early to witness each posts response.

At some point, I thought I might be able to get a job out of SoulPancake.  That I’d be able to, eventually, earn some money from editing or some such work. When I first arrived in Nashville the prospect of a job was suggested to Devon.  He told me that he absolutely expected SoulPancake to earn money, that it would have cash flow from sponsors and other avenues within the next few months and that I would be one of the first to get paid.  This pushed me to do everything I could for the site.  The problem was, it didn’t happen.

Before I left, I wanted to know that this job possibility was still there.  On my second to last day I had a conversation with Golriz about their situation.  In the shadow of their trampoline, she told me that while she had complete faith in Devon and the growth seen on the site, it would be irresponsible to believe that she’d be paid.  After all, the economy wasn’t doing well and advertisers weren’t giving money out to everyone.

I eventually asked why she and Devon pushed themselves so hard if they knew it wouldn’t produce any monetary fruit and she explained that Devon had to.  If he didn’t believe that, eventually, things would work out the site would invariably never have been made or launched.  If he didn’t have faith that writers were talented and capable, it would have been a similar situation.  It was his faith and blind hope that drove the site, and now, it’s remarkably successful with a book on the way.

That might be a difficult concept for a lot of people to understand.  Throwing yourself headlong into a project with the knowledge that it could blow up in your face isn’t logical.  It’s the opposite.  And yet, I’m doing it right now.

I’ve been working on this graphic novel fr the last four months.  I’ve pushed myself by looking at a 6-page short comic I wrote as my motivation thinking, “if this 6-pager is published, publishers will read it and be more likely to give me a change.”  And it kept me going.  I wrote the 6-pager and, when it was done and edited, focused again on the graphic novel.  Now, two chapters in, things have started to fall apart.

There are problems with the artist, and I’m not sure if he’ll finish any of the work he agreed to. I spent two days wallowing in self-pity, talking with Lindsay about how horrible things were and how I should just give up, but somewhere inside me a loud voice responded, “Write the damn thing.”  Despite the anger that I deservedly feel, I want to continue.  I have to.  If I don’t stick my fingers in my ears and shout everything will be drowned out by the overwhelming prospect of failure.  And failure will not happen.  I don’t care if this 6-page story isn’t published.  I’ll try a different venue and a different artist.  I don’t care if the first six publishers shoot down the 6-pager and the graphic novel because someone, eventually, will read it and recognize what I’m trying to do.

Is it egotistical to think this way?  Of course it is.  But, really, there’s nothing else I or nearly anyone else with a dream can do but think we’re awesome and capable and that our idea is worth it.  Because, without that ego, we would sit in cubicles like I used to and bemoan the opportunity we let split.  And I’ve already spent six years in cubicles, working at jobs I had no desire to be doing.  It’s time to buckle down.  My stories will be published, dammit.  Not because I think so, but because they’re pretty damned good.  And when that day comes, I’ll feel vindicated for all my slamming into walls and verbose prose and pontifications.

This is what creative people have to do to keep themselves sane and get work done, put on the blinders, have faith in yourself, and hope.

• We’ll be moving to South Korea by the end of this or early next month to teach English to children.  We’re both really excited as this means we’ll be able to teach, save some money, and attempt to ride out the “recession” that has prevented us from finding any meaningful jobs.  The problem is that I won’t be able to use my iPhone…which is depressing.
• I’m working on a Features comic strip for SoulPancake.  Although I’ve finished the first script and have had good conversations about the jump and jive of the strip we won’t know for certain what changes are necessary/will occur for another couple weeks.  I’ll keep you posted.
• Be on the look out over the next few months for a new section to be added in ‘Short-reaching tentacles’.  It’s a project I’ve been working on for the last two years and might actually come to being.  We’ll see.
• …that wasn’t as many items as I thought.  Meh.

Take care, folks!

We’re in the Denver area, hanging out, attempting to not count our chickens before they’ve hatched, and look for work.  As it stands we haven’t found much on this continent aside from one offer for Lindsay that she’s not keen on but will probably take on the short term.  This has forced us to think “outside the box” and really “utilize other corporate speak” to “maximize our creativity” or something.  I don’t know.

On the writing front, now that I have time, I’ll be focusing more on some comic book projects.  My goal is to have at least a single-shot book done by the time we leave here, perhaps a week or two, and ready to send to an artist.  At least then I’ll feel as though I’ve done something creative.

On that same front, however, I finished up a spec script for “The Office” and am attempting to shop it around.  Problem is, I’ve never written a spec before and probably got a lot wrong.  Like, a lot.  Based on the response so far, it’s not bad but needs quite a bit of work; which is great.  I’m all about feedback.  And while comments from family and friends have been great, it helps to get some from people in the business or who might be more critical then those  with a vested interest in saying such glowingly wonderful things.  So, maybe I’ll work on another spec, an hour-long drama of my own devices or something already on air, and see what I can do with that.  It’ll be a back burner thing, so I don’t expect anything, if ever, to happen from it in the near future (this year).

Going in a direction that I haven’t gone in a while, SoulPancake.com has announced that they’ve signed a book deal and will be putting out their first tomb next fall.  Check out this Entertainment Weekly article for more information on the book to be written by Devon, Golriz, and Shabnam’s incredible minds; their fingers will remain attentive to the SoulPancake site.

With all those updates made, I wish to end this transmission with an awesome image Lindsay found earlier today.
There’s a lot of octopus art out there, including Henry Warren’s beautiful work on the header, but few are as epic as that black and white wall print.  Take care, y’all!

Anyway, I haven’t been able to do much over the last two weeks as we’ve been in “figure things out” and “focus on ourselves/each other” mode.  I have, however, finished the first draft of my first spec script and will begin on the second spec when we arrive in Colorado.  It’s a good feeling, having this written and finished something like this.  And soon I’ll be emailing it out to a friend to see about possible jobs.

There’s not much else I can talk about as I certainly don’t want to get my or anyone else’s hopes up.  I’d rather make announcements when things have been finalized.

In other news, SoulPancake continues to roll on.  Lindsay is now nearly three weeks ahead in her features and I’ve been developing some ideas about marriage for a segment of my own.  I’ll keep you informed as we see what happens.

That’s that.  I’m now off to further pack our studio apartment’s worth of stuff into boxes in preparation for the move.  A maneuver that will no doubt make these knotty, painy feelings in my stomach much, much worse, but the overall feeling of accomplishing something and moving on to a new stage of life drowns those feelings out.  So, I’m back to balancing.  And isn’t that what life’s all about?  …what did I just type?  I think I’ve lost it.

Bye!

Since I last wrote I went back to college after a five year hiatus, got engaged, and graduated.  After that has been a bit of a blur.  Wedding planning hasn’t gone as we had hoped – you know, simple and easy – and we’re both trying to figure out what will happen next.  We’re looking at opportunities in various places (D.C., L.A., and Seattle mostly) for after the wedding in hopes that she can enter grad school and I can support her with enough work.  Therein lines the trouble, really.  What am I supposed to do after being in school for 4 months?  Before that I worked for two years at a job where changing addresses in a database for 8 hours a day was life and before that, much of the same.  How am I supposed to support a wife who will be going after her grad degree?  Why, selling my soul, of course.

Over the last month I’ve spent time in Nashville working closely with the SoulPancake awesomeness that is Devon and Golriz, a business lunch proposing a social networking aspect for a website my good friend Josh Elder is developing, many business lunches beginning and developing animated video content for SoulPancake with my good friend Shannon Reddy, meeting with a good friend and artist Henry Warren on a couple projects we’ve been working on for quite some time, and sending a proposal for a 100-page graphic novel to my former place of employ.  Did I also mention planning a wedding?  Oh, my, yes.

Now, within that rambling mess did I find a way to make money?  Maybe, but not for quite some time.  Where does that leave me?  I’m looking for work and will probably need to take on a temp position or two in the coming months to ensure maximum (dubious, I know) monetary influx.  Its not what I want but that’s really not a factor at this point.  I’m getting married.  And she’s completely amazing and supportive of my comic writing and various ridiculous sketches.  The reality I’ve faced, however, is that those ventures only get me so far and I’ll need something else to supplement us until the real money (its out there somewhere I’m told) and acclaim (its out there somewhere I’m told) finds its way to my eager-to-spend bank accounts.

So that’s that.  Tomorrow, I’ll be adding another item to my previous listing by meeting with friend and incredible artist Luthando Mazibuko for the day to begin planning and plotting out a graphic novel we’re both excited to be working on.  Who knows?  I don’t.  Give us money.  We’re mostly competent.

Bye bye for now.  Be sure to check back frequently as things have begun to settle and I’ll be posting more often.

Slap your spirit on that skillet, folks!

Sure, I haven’t been writing much.  Sure, I haven’t been able to to even think about this page one bit.  Sure, I went through Spring Break claiming that I would write “at least two posts” over the week and didn’t…well, what are you going to do.

In the mean time, y’all need to jump on over to SoulPancake if you haven’t already.  Whatever free time I have, away from planning the wedding and being tackled by my class work, has been spent on that there site.  I’m the Challenges Editor over there and have been dealing with the launch, regular conference calls, and the editorial and creative process day in and day out.  Hooray.

Well, that’s all I can muster at this moment.  I need to get back to this here class work.  Assuredly I’ll get back into the swing of writing regular posts as soon as the dust of everything settles, if that happens.

Today, we’re a day closer to whenever we’re able to launch SoulPancake.  There have been so many set backs and mandatory adjustments made to our scheduled layout it’s difficult for me to update our progress without sounding like a tease.  It’s all right, however; because, this will all be over soon.

We’re seeing a drastic increase in the building of content lately as each contributor posts, edits, and prepares their Features, Challenges, and Life’s Questions.  As I’m the czar of the Challenges department, it’s been my job to amass, first, a feel for what kinds of challenges we desire and their tone, and, second, pump ‘em out.  Currently, I have a good 4, maybe 5 ready for the launch and another 20 sitting around, gestating in their amneotic fluids suspended state of thought and creativity.  It’s been an incredible experience creating for this site.  Being part of something so broad in scope yet uniform in idea that it really touches me to have been considered to work on it.  This thing is going to be big, and I really hope you all get the chance to sink your teeth in and chew what we’re serving for days and days.

Work week:
I’ll try to update you all on what I’m doing more often this week, so this is not to suggest that you’re getting one post to explain what’s going on this work week.
The sheer mass of class work begun in earnest as we approach our Spring Break, so there will be much studying and much exam and paper writing.  Hooray?  Sure, I guess.
Continued development of SoulPancake means creating new content types and having between 10 and 20 challenges ready to go by our launch (which we’re told will be this month, and hopefully still coincide with Oprah’s Soul Series interview of Rainn) and in the hopes that once things get going we’ll have enough to feed you all without falling behind.  Reallly the site’s about it’s users, so we want to make sure we have a lot for you up there.
I’ll be meeting with our Editor-in-Chief later tonight to get a feel for each other and create some kind of plan and uniform voice for the Challenges section; which is super exciting.
Work on the graphic novel has been kicked into a new gear as I spend a lot more time solidifying the ideas and outlining everything that will happen now that I’ve spend a great deal editing and adjusting it.  The current direction is much different from where I originally thought I’d be going, but think it’ll be much more cohesive and interesting a story now that things have been established.
Last, but most importantly for me, the Baha’i Fast has begun today and I’m really hoping the extra time in the day can be dedicated to work in whatever form.

Well, I guess that’s that for now.  I probably missed something and will attempt to remedy that tonight or tomorrow or whenever I get the chance.  Anyway, I’m still pretty tired and need to get ready for the day…also, to reread this and make sure I don’t sound like a rambling idiot.  …Oh, yep, I do.

Take care, folks!

It’s been a crazy few weeks .  There’s been SoulPancake set backs and visits to Chicago and the spending of the majority of my time doing class work. This will all lead up, joyfully, to Spring Break, which is fast approaching.

Speaking of Fast, the Baha’i Fast begins on sunrise Monday and concludes the night of the 20th of May.  19 days of fasting from sun rise to sunset.  No food or drink.  This should be interesting, especially with the whole school thing.  Regardless, I’m pretty excited to give it a try and hope that I’m able to cleanse myself spiritually and get back to life as it should be.  Refocused, re-purposed, and rested as my Spring Break runs from May 13th through the 22.  I’m sure I’ll be posting quite a bit more during that time in an effort to catalogue the process and ramble endlessly about how I just want a sip of tea or giant bottle of water.  What can I say, I’m a complainer.

Anyway, that’s all I have for now.  It’s late, I’m tired, and I’m beginning to regret even beginning this post…oh well.  More pertinent info in my next post.  Bye, folks!

So, things have been pushed back.  I’ll know for how long we’ll be pushed back on Monday, but I give you this tidbit after our two hour long conference call this afternoon, it will be worth the wait.  The extra time is allowing us to finely sharpen our impliments of your doom/awesome content and the fleshing out of some ideas that we’ve long been ruminating.  This is good, my gentle readers…and Shannon, who does not read or is he gentle.  And you will benefit from it in the long run.

As well, it is of note that Oprah’s Soul Series has pushed back the Rainn Wilson interview episode, sadly, to Monday, February 23rd.  I suppose there some kind of reasoning behind this – perhaps there was just so much damn content/awesome that they didn’t know what to do with themselves – but we’re not privy to it.  Regardless, iTunes will have the interview up on the 23rd.  I swear!  These people are making me look like more of a jerk than I already am, says I.

I’d also like to alert to y’all that you can, in fact, comment on these and other items on this site.  Simply click on “THE COMMENTS” and state your business.

Now, as I realize I left the defuser in this mug too long and my tea is bitter and strong, I’d also like to alert to you about Absolute Radio.  It’s a UK radio station.  It is of the awesome, and have an entire channel (Absolute Xtreme, sadly) dedicated to really great, really new jams.  The Brits know their tunes, folks.  And we should be so lucky as to suck upon their internet radio teet.

END TRANSMISSION!